I am a doubting fool's muddled thoughts...

Today's random photo is of my friend Alex. This pic was taken from his bachelor party last year, almost right around this time actually. We went fishing, and it was the first time I'd actually gone...needless to say, it was a great time. I had a lot of fun talkin to everyone and catching a few of my own. Haven't seen Alex since his wedding with Lori, but we've been planning to hook up...hopefully that happens sooner rather than later.

Of leaps and bounds...
I used to be really afraid about speaking in front of crowds. But this past Sunday, I made a big leap; I competed in two speech contests; placed first in one and second in the other. It was such an incredible feeling - but not so much because I won, but because people I know and love were in the audience and were there to hear me speak, and most of all, were there to support me. For some reason I find it easier to speak in front of strangers; mainly because they just have no idea who I really am, but also because I think I don't have any expectations to live up to - I can't disappoint. A lot of the time, I think I have that looming over my head with the people around me...not that they have all these crazy expectations of me, but just that I want them to be proud of me. And this weekend, I can honestly say that all of the ones that came were truly proud of me, and really got to see me do the thing I had been talking about for so long, to speak in front of a crowd and to do my best to captivate an audience. I now know I can do pretty much exactly what I'm dreaming to do one day, but it definitely will take a lot of hard work. It definitely feels nice to share it with my people...

Of spring cleaning and related...
In the spirit of the coming of spring, I've been thinking about spring cleaning. What I want to do w/ my room, the garage, etc. And so I thought...what else is there to clean. A lot of things...and you know, one of the things that I always have a tough time doing is hitting that [delete] button on e-mails. My inbox(both work and personal) are pretty organized. There's a certain category that practically all of my e-mails fall into, and are sorted accordingly. So naturally, although my inbox seems empty, the various folders are filled to the brim with messages. So I occasionally go through them, and figure out which ones to delete. I probably delete 2-5% every time I go through them, and I only do this ritual about 2 or 3 times annually, so you can imagine how many messages there are in here. It's like my closet, I always say I'm going to clear out any clothes that haven't seen any action within the past two years...and yet I always fall back on that deal. Same with e-mail. I like to read old messages and pull myself back to the time when the e-mail occurred. Now it's unrealistic to think I will actually read all of these messages, but just to see them there is enough sometimes. However, I think the time has truly come for me to delete. Who still needs those random forwards like "Things I learned..." from the college years? Not me... So here's to deleting more than my status quo...and more cleaning.

I'm a little long-winded today...he he he, but that's usual.

55 small things you can always do
55. Call your loved ones!!!
Wow...this is it. The end, finito, fin. I can't believe it. But i think it's a great one to close with. Call your loved ones...the reason people say, "you never know what might happen" is a cliche, but cannot be any more true. You truly don't know what can and will happen, and if you have time, get in touch with those people that make your world...your loved ones.

I am a brand-new flint...

Today's post features the "soul sistah's," May and Jem (aka honorary and roomie). They got pretty jacked up that night...we had to carry them both to the cars, ha ha ha. For more info on said sistah's, please see previous posts and other Flickr photos :)

of illness and staying in...
Being sick sucks. I stayed at home ALL day yesterday because I was sick. I was nauseated for most of the day and was just very low energy. Someone told me that I was pregnant, ha ha ha. Man, I don't like being couped up all day. It's different when you choose to take a chill day and stay in, but when it's because you have no energy and you just feel ill, man, it sucks. I wanted to at least run once or go to the gym, but I just couldn't get up for it. It was good to rest a bit tho, I rarely get days like that into my schedule. I know I know, I spread myself too thin. Well, I'm feelin better than yesterday, but the allergies seem to have kicked in and are giving my blah feeling a little "oomph." But I shall not let them prevail. I shall smile and carry on for the rest of my day. =p

I need to find some motivation to get stuff done. I'm gonna have to set GOW2 aside for the remainder of the week, and only use it on a "reward-based" system. It'll be my doggy treat for getting my ish taken care of: clean room, finish speeches, WORK on speeches, clean bathroom. :) Obviously the speeches are the priority here. I did a practice run and it didn't go so well, argh. I should've prepared a lot more...now I'm gettin scared...

55 small things you can always do
54. Make room for your heart.
Wow, are we really at the final two words of wisdom? Well, at least these words of wisdom. Anyone who knows me knows my penchance for giving life advice, he he he. Make room for your heart. It's that age-old addage, "Listen to the wants of your heart above all else." Matters of the heart are much more meaningful than anything; there is a reason why people will leave high-paying jobs for something that some would consider a not-so-successful career. To me, the heart is what matters most, and I have to listen to it...have to, have to, HAVE to.

I am the opposite of green...

...and also the opposite of happy considering that effin Laker game last night. At least we won our league game...and my last Gears game before I stopped playing...


Today's random pic comes from Tita Jean (Ver's mom)'s 50th b-day celebration a few years ago. As you can see, she is full of energy and just a fun person to hang with.

Of yesterday's thoughts
I started to write this entry yesterday, but actually got caught up w/ work shortly after...
Wow time is inching by slowly today...usually, Tuesday zips by because it's a league day. Hmmm, maybe it's because I woke up super early and actually went to the gym BEFORE work today. So I've been awake longer and therefore I feel like the day is moving by slow? Theoretically, going by my usual wake up time, I'd be out of here already...maybe that's it. Or maybe it's just one of those blah blah blah days.

Now it's hump day. At least I have something to look forward to. Getting over the hump...ha ha ha. Okay, not much goin on in this brain of mine...blah blah blah...

55 small things you can always do
53. Every once in a while, take the scenic route.
As often as time permits, and even during the times it doesn't, take the scenic route. There's nothing wrong and everything right about taking your time once in a while and enjoying the ride. I often fall victim to not taking the scenic road enough, but I am determined to do so more throughout my life. Afterall, life is not only about where you get to at the end of the road, but the entire ride that took you there.

I am the first time in a long time...

After almost a decade out of college and Kaba, I got to reminisce with a few friends from those days this past weekend at the Kaba 35th Anniversary Gala. I was afraid that I wouldn't really know many of the alums that went, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I did know quite a few. It was great to reminisce about old days, laugh about our youth, and update each other on the past 10 years. It was awesome. And these people are still up to their old antics...just like back then. Hope there are more alum events like this in the future, maybe not so formal though...

Paul Levy is a great man. I don't know him well, but just from the little I read about him, I already admire this person and greatly respect him. You can get to know a little more about him here. I wonder how many people around the world would do that exactly same thing - it's sad for me to think it, but the general feeling I get is not many people. Chris just told me our friend Rochelle's hospital did that too. It really reinforces the fact that WE ARE community. We can make OUR world a better place; for ourselves and for each other.

Man, I need to run...it's been about a week and a half since I ran that 5 miler over at Pasadena...it was supposed to be 6, but my leg couldn't hang. Tonight, I shall run, be it earlier or midnight....RUN I SHALL!

This is an old thought...but I thought I'd post it now before it disappears into the abyss...
of conformity and individuality
Society sends us such mixed messages; everything contradicts itself. There are commercials and radio messages to be healthy, yet McDonald's advertises 2 Big Mac's for $3.50(of which I've already succumbed to several times). Smoking is bad for you, yet "all the cool" people do it. The top for me, the one that gets to me th most, is the message of confirmity vs individuality. We don't like it when people aren't like us, yet we don't like it when they're too much like us. Society tells us to be ourselves, yet will look down those who are being too much of themselves. What are we telling people here? Some people have thought about conformity and appearance so much that it's come to the point where if they needed to go to the grocery store to grab something, they'd have to dress up because they might run into someone - and considering their profession...they must "look the part." Are we now a society of such little understanding that we wouldn't be able to relate that we just needed to run out real quick, so it's okay to be wearing our jammies or our dressed down home apparel? Or do we have to put up this facade? I understand dressing appropriately, but come on, isn't it going a little too far.

55 small things you can always do
52. Make the most important thing, the most important thing.
We can fall into the habit of making everything sound important; or place a multitude of things on the same level priority-wise. It's not possible to say that your career is the most important along with your family. Superlatives should be used accordingly. Career is important, but family is MOST important. That's just an example, of course. But make sure you identify the most important thing as the MOST important thing.

I am the coming of the loss of time...

Last week's run was around Pasadena and the famous Rose Bowl...it was supposed to be a 6-miler, but I only managed 5...hopefully I can do the full run this weekend!

Ahhh, and so comes th close to another yet hectic week...but as I've said before, I am WORKING.... And how do I celebrate this end of the workweek? With some laughs, some drinks, a 2AM run and driving all over Southern Cali for the next few days! WHOO HOO!!!!!

Weird? no Eccentric? Absolutely :)

Daylight savings will soon be upon us, ripping that precious hour of sleep on Sunday morning and throwing it into the sun. Yes, the days will be longer, which means...running at 6 or 7PM won't be so scary and cold, and we should theoretically be saving more energy. Here's a little-known tidbit of information; farmers did not implement daylight savings as we know it and love or hate it, and it wasn't the gov't's thought of the farmer that implemented this strange shift either. It was brought about by retailer's want to bring about more customers by being open longer. In fact, this time shift disrupts farming more than it does help... Anyway, that's the fact of the day...

55 small things you can always do
51. Don't accept good enough as good enough.
Never accept the bare minimum...make sure it's your best. It is only fitting that I quote Sean Connery's character in The Rock. [Enter heavy Scottish Accent] "Your best? Your BEST? Losers always try their BEST; the winner goes home and [enter expletive]s the prom queen."

Enjoy your 47 hour weekend folks!!!

I am a funktified funk...

...haven't posted in a while...frustration entry below - back to regularly scheduled programming soon...

Bad days are funny, they just pile up with additional things. They're often very petty when looking back, but they seem so frustrating at the time. If I mentioned exactly why I'm in such a funk...you'd laugh...heck, years down the line, I'LL laugh..., I also probably won't remember why I wrote this entry, so I'll spit it out; I've lost two games in a row in one of my leages; for the first time in about 3+ years. I also have lost 2 in a row(when I've played in my Sunday league; we won a game inbetween, but I wasn't there, so that doesn't count). Work has been a little stressful lately as well, with various additional tasks being added to my plate every day, but I can easily turn things around and be more positive. 1) At least I am healthy enough to play ball, 2) 2 losses in a row for the first time in that many years? We've been doing really well and I have to expect a lull every now and then...and there's always room for improvement and we can get back on the winning track 3) At least I'm working...that one I have to remember far more often.

So things aren't as bad as they often seem to be, and things could ALWAYS be worse. My petty little issues are nothing compared with the real problems people face; but I'm not gonna lie and say they don't affect me at all. Just gotta make sure that if I do have a pity party, that it gets broken up right quick...


On a good note. Yesterday was "Read Across America Day" for Dr Seuss' b-day, and went and volunteered at Genesee's school to read to a couple of classes there. If you've never read or presented in front of kids that young(kindy's), I have to share that it was probably one of the most terrifying experiences as far as public presentations go that I've ever made. I was SOOOOOO nervous for the first class I read in; I was sweating...A LOT. Even the teacher noticed. It's tough because these kids; you HAVE to get their attention, and keep it. They can see right through any fakeness, and they can smell fear. Luckily, they warmed up to me quick, and I was able to entertain them :) By the second reading, I was fine and was interacting more with the kids. I highly recommend reading to kids as an exercise in public speaking. I think it's a great tool. Anyway, the pic above was taken by Genessee(thanks!), and thank goodness it was for the second reading, and not the first. I'd be mortified if people got pics of that....

55 small things you can always do
50. Sign and carry an organ donor card.
I've been very on the fence about this...b/c I have this phobia that if my life were on the fence, they'd opt to take those organs and donate them....eek! Not tryin to scare anyone, but that's how my neurotic mind works sometimes. Many people have their own personal reasons with this, so I'll actually leave it up to you and not try to push you either way... Only that it can help someone in real need, and assuming that all situations are kosher and ethical...then it'd be all good.

"wont know the light til you know the dark"
-AIM convo with Gen